Learning from Britney

My last blog post talked about being unabashedly you, and, specifically, the delight and freedom that brings. Today, though, I want to focus on different areas of being yourself through what Britney Spears has taught me.

Like a lot of people, Britney Spears has been on my mind recently. If you need catching up, Britney provided testimony in her fight to be let out of the conservatorship that has actively harmed her — mind, body and soul — for the past 13 years. When Britney hit her overly publicized and overly photographed breaking point in 2007 with the custody battle, shaved head, and umbrella attack on a paparazzi’s car, the world screamed “crazy,” “mental breakdown,” “psycho.”

None of these labels were true.

And none of these labels were kind or helpful. To Britney, or to the millions of people suffering from mental illness.

I think there are several opportunities to learn from Britney’s experiences so that we can grow as stronger individuals and as a stronger society:

1.De-stigmatize mental illness

For those of us with mental illness(es), the labels and hatred lobbed at Britney confirmed that the world was not a safe place for us. That people didn’t, or couldn’t, understand what we go through. And that having mental illness was shameful.

Thankfully, over the past several years, we’ve begun to break down the stigmas surrounding mental illness by discussing it more and more and advocating for ourselves. And, the more open we are about our struggles, the more we find people who struggle in the same way.

Britney wasn’t going “crazy” all those years ago. She was advocating for herself. She wasn’t having a “mental breakdown.” She was crying out for help. She wasn’t “psycho.” She was a young woman whose talents and body had been used for profit for more than a decade, often without her best interests in mind.

2. Listen to your body

From my perspective, Britney’s mind and body were crying out for rest, for nurture, for love. When we don’t listen to the things our bodies tell us, it’s easy for us to end up hurt or hurting others.

In our current cultural structure, it’s easy to always be going, always be doing. Overworking is rewarded. Overfunctioning is applauded. But our bodies need rest and recovery. They need adequate nutrients and hugs and water and sunshine and time with those we love.

But, somewhere in the rat race of modern society, we stopped listening to what our bodies are telling us and, instead, began pushing ourselves farther than we can healthily go. And so we end up tired and nutrient-deficient and irritable and sick and just … so, so, so run-down. You know that trope of the woman in the office saying “I cannot get sick right now?” Why can’t she get sick right now? Is it because she has a million things on her plate from work to home and everywhere in between? Chances are, her body is sick because of those million things on her plate. If she unloaded her plate and made time for self-care, she’d be far less likely to get sick. And, when she does get sick, her world can keep on turning while she rests.

3. Authenticity is kind

In her testimony, Britney explained that she’d been lying about being ok for the past few years. She’d been putting on airs, pretending.

When we aren’t truthful with ourselves or with others, we tend to suffer. We do more than is healthy. We don’t get the support that we need.

I was in a job I absolutely loved for two years. I loved the work I did, and the people I worked for and with. But, when I took a step back and looked at my day-to-day objectively, I realized that I was constantly stressed. And, possibly more importantly, I wasn’t passionate about my work. Being honest with myself, being authentic to who I am, allowed me to pursue becoming a holistic health coach — a job where I set my own hours helping people in a way that sets my soul on fire. I still have stresses, of course, but they’re so well balanced with the moments of pure joy when I get to interact with my clients that I’m rarely affected by them (at least in a hard way).

Being authentic, being honest about who we are and how we’re doing is kind to both ourselves and those around us.

Do any of these lessons resonate with you? What can you do to start employing that lesson in your life?

And, once you figure that out, get to work, bitch.